100 Things Hikaru Does to Piss Kaoru Off
by AlyssaxXxShane
Summary: Well, doesn't the title say it all? Apparently, Hikaru does many things to irritate Kaoru...


**A/N: I recently read something like this by the author kiiyu-sama called 100 Things that Naruto Does That Pisses Off Sasuke & 100 Things Sasuke Did To Piss Off Naruto. If you have not read these, YOU SHOULD! They are a good laugh. Anyway, here's my attempt with the Hitachiin Twins. Enjoy. ~Aly~**

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1 - We share the same bed; stop fucking shoving me off.

2 - Stop getting mad when I throw a bucket of water on you for shoving me off.

3 - You're the reason I have back problems.

4 - No, they are NOT from laying on my back all the time while Kyoya pounds me into the mattress.

5 - Shut the fuck up.

6 - Stop using my toothbrush.

7 - Leaving your underwear in the shower isn't attractive.

8 - Calling me a uke doesn't change the fact that I get some and you don't.

9 - Tamaki is not gay.

10 - Hunny-sempai is not in a relationship with Chika.

11 - Putting those crabs in Haruhi's desk wasn't funny.

12 - Spiking my lemonade with vodka wasn't funny either.

13 - Unless you want to have blue balls again.

14 - Stop taking my iPod.

15 - Fucking find yours.

16 - Stop replacing my shampoo with mayonaisse.

17 - We're not getting another goldfish.

18 - Or another turtle.

19 - Arielle is my cat, don't touch her.

20 - FUCKING STOP TOUCHING HER!

21 - If she dies, you'll die too.

22 - Stop mocking me behind my back; Hunny's face always gives it away.

23 - Nekozawa-sempai does not sell drugs.

24 - Don't do drugs.

25 - I'll kill you.

26 - Stealing my cellphone and pretending to be me doesn't amuse Kyoya. Or me.

27 - Make clam chowder again and I'll tell mom you went to Fiji that weekend she told you no.

28 - My closet is not a haven for you to pretend like you're getting some; I'm fucking sleeping.

29 - It's 3 am, Hikaru; stop it.

30 - Don't spoon me; I'm in a relationship now.

31 - Tamaki-sempai does not have threesomes with Kyoya-sempai and I.

32 - Shut up.

33 - Yes, it's my money, I earned it.

34 - How do you think I earned it?

35 - Second thought, don't answer that.

36 - Of course you did.

37 - Stop being a pervert.

38 - I'm getting tired of you stealing my glow in the dark condoms.

39 - What the fuck do you need them for?

40 - The cherry-flavored lube? Yeah, that's yours.

41 - That shirt? The one that says I Like Boys? Yeah, that's Haruhi's dad's, not mine.

42 - Thief.

43 - Haruhi's smarter than you think.

44 - So that means putting itching powder in her costume yesterday was not smart of you.

45 - Yes, she was the one who dyed your blazer neon green; NOT me.

46 - No, Tamaki didn't take your iPod.

47 - You already know what will happen if you take my iPod again.

48 - Do we not have millions? GO BUY A NEW ONE.

49 - So what if grandma bought that one?

50 - Oh yea….

51 - We're not going to France for summer vacation.

52 - Remember what happened last time?

53 - Kyoya is not a pedophile.

54 - He's 17, I'm 16.

55 - Fuck the law.

56 - You're a minor.

57 - If I catch you in that drug house again…

58 - Taking my gym shoes and throwing them in the pool was stupid.

59 - Whining about Tamaki and Haruhi isn't going to make me care more.

60 - Shut the fuck up.

61 - God, I'm going to kill you one of these days; mom and dad won't notice.

62 - Yes, they love me more.

63 - At least I'm passing French. Bitch.

64 - Speaking of which, stop stealing my French homework. Mrs. Jacquelyn is getting suspicious.

65 - I don't recommend taking German. Stop asking.

66 - What did I say about touching Arielle?

67 - Get that tom cat out of here. Now.

68 - Don't make me pimp slap you.

69 - Idaho. Haha, I-da-ho. NOT funny.

70 - Stay out of our parents' liquor cabinet.

71 - I'm tired of taking you off the roof in the morning.

72 - And cleaning up your vomit.

73 - And having to explain why several of mom's European vases have feathers from her Spanish imported pillows in them.

74 - And having to explain what happened to the liquor.

75 - Stop drinking.

76 - Stop hanging out with Nekozawa; he's a bad influence.

77 - Tamaki told me he took you to that gay bar.

78 - Yeah, remember? You came home with no clothes on?

79 - Dumbass.

80 - Haruhi's dad would not find kidnapping Haruhi funny.

81 - Neither would Haruhi.

82 - Shut up about Haruhi.

83 - IDGAF.

84 - Flicking my ear is not a turn on.

85 - Get a boyfriend.

86 - Yeah, pretty sure you're gay.

87 - Do it again and see what happens.

88 - Saying, "Like a boss" doesn't make you one.

89 - You're older by 2 ½ minutes.

90 - You're immature.

91 - Just so you know, merde means shit in French; not elephant. (1AM Cosplay reference)

92 - You suck at French.

93 - I know you dyed Arielle purple.

94 - STOP DYING HER COLORS.

95 - Actually, I believe we've had this discussion.

96 - Stop trying to justify your actions.

97 - Shut the motherfucking shit of hell up.

98 - Sprinkle some concrete in your cereal and harden the fuck up, princess.

99 - No, you pervert, I did NOT mean that.

100 - Prepare to die.

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**A/N: Sooo… how was it? Tell me what you think! I had a lot of fun with it, as you might be able to tell. haha ~Aly~**


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